> humpty dumpy humped a blonde
Dirty Blonde JokesWho's The Dummy?A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large. All in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"
Blonde Condoms
A young blonde woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. What size would you like?"
The blonde responds, "Oh, just mix them up, I am not going steady with anyone right now."
The Man ToolA blonde female patient ask her gynecologist: "Doctor, I can not seem to get pregnant. I must not be fertile."
The doctor says, "come to my office after business hours, and I will use my long and powerful fertility tool inside your vagina thoroughly, and your fertility problem will be solved at no extra charge."
The blonde asks, "What tool is that?"
Typical Blonde HoeWhy do blondes wear big hoop earings?
It's a place to rest their ankles.
Maybe Someday They'll MeetWhat did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
We don't fucking know, they haven't met yet!
Difference Between A Blonde And A RoosterWhat is the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A Rooster says "cock-a-doodle-do," and a blonde says "any cock'll-do!"
I'm Sure It's Harder To HearWhy did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
She was afraid of getting hearing aids!
Like Miracle WhipDid you hear about the new paint on the market?
It's called Blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy!
You're Gonna Bleach What!Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!"
To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"
Favourite RhymeWhat's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme.
I Don't Fuck And I Don't SuckOne day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death.
Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into the air, catching the woman.
Delirious from shock, the woman shouted, "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!"
The man replied, "Do you suck?"
Stunned at this, the woman said, "No, I don't suck!"
And with that, the man let go of her.
"Shit!" the woman thought as she began to plummet again. Suddenly, another set of arms grabbed her at the 9th floor.
"Thank God!" she screamed. "I would have died if it weren't for you!"
The man asked, "Do you fuck?"
Absolutely aghast, the woman answered, "No, I don't fuck!"
Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there. Falling again, the woman thought that she would surely die. Just then, a set of arms stretched out from the 7th floor.
Not believing her luck, the woman shouted, "I suck! I fuck!"
"Slut," the man said, and dropped her.
ShapelyQ.Why are Blonde's coffins shaped like a triangle?
A.Because everytime their head hits a pillow their legs open.
Milk It Does The Body GoodThis blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits."
Blonde On The ComputerQ: How do you know if a blonde has been on your computer?
A: There is lipstick on the joystick.
Bruise EasilyQ: Why do blondes have bruises around their belly-buttons?
A: Because blonde guys aren't too smart either.
I wana go blonde at first...but nah..forget it..hahahaa!!!
